Sat
Nov
21
i’m not happy with how my life has been going for the past year or so. i’m alone and far away from my family. yes i have friends but not here. at school i have one person i can call my friend but she has a full time job and i can hardly see here because we live on opposite sides of the city. as entirely cliche as it sounds i just feel lonely.
i’m so afraid this is what the rest of my life is going to turn out to be. alone very week end and every night. not having anyone to talk to other than the handful of people i can contact online.
i feel like with my friends from how i am just disrupting their other lives that i’m really only some one who should be spoken to when at home. everyone has friends and lives outside of the ones we have when we are home on vacation. i hate it. i don’t want to be here anymore. i wish i lived in a perpetual summer where my friends werew always there and i didn’t have to face reality.
i don’t want to be friendless my entire life, but i feel like that is where i am headed. everyone i know has made tons of friends, not best friends but at least people to watch like a movie with.
i hate my life here. if this is what the rest of my life is going to be like i really hope i don’t have a very long life, because i would just like to get it over with.
my weeks ends feel like dreams. i wake up really late, and i’m really dispondent. no one speaks to me and so thusly i don’t speak to anyone. it is really odd. i feel like they don’t happen, like i am stuck in them. they are lonely and kinda fuzzy. i don’t often remeber them that well.
i don’t like living like this.
Tue
Nov
17
wow i don’t think this is good, which sounds pretty backasswards. i haven’t been working out a lot this week, well wait… i started this new little regime at night so that couple be helping… huh wow i never even thought about that. i was about to attribute 6lbs (i am counts the 219-217 in here because i weighed my self on thursday[?]) in a week to my lack of eating. for the past couple days i have been having one meal with a lot of calories which isn’t a great idea… but then again i thought that made you gain weight. ugh confused anyways i’m going to go get something to eat now almost time for class.
anyways next weeks weight goal will be one of the significant goals:
Fri
Oct
23
while i was just sorta looking around youtube i found this http://www.youtube.com/user/watchXmeXshrink
she hasn’t updated in a few months but i am sorta curious as to where she is at.
i also read one of the comments:
“You need to do a lot of research so that you know exactly what you can eat, how much you can eat and how to exercise. I am also on a diet and have lost 10kg in 2 months so far and its not very hard to maintain. Eat right and exercise only 10-15mins 5 days a week. If you’d like to know more just msg me, i think i can point you in a good direction.”
kinda would like to contact them but that sems a bit creepy. anyways those sort of results would be amazing to get haha.
the point of this journal is to actually call attentiont o her weight goals on the side bar… i like that idea so i think i might start that up.
Tue
Aug
11
i need to start one (again)
Fri
Aug
7
dude they put on a play in my town called that i thought you lived here and i was all what D:
p.s. hey i’m a random follower :D
unicornzzzzz:
tonight.
get here.
If you show up at my door with out formal wear and covered in blood, you will be turned away.
